RF

i just can’t stop thinking about that small but brilliant moment in 8.08 when Cas reaches for a FBI badge that’s not there as Dean and Sam get out theirs, and that, beyond knowing it to be proper process in these types of hunter ruses, he looks like he expected one to be there, meaning between the moment Dean gave him his sometime before or during the events of 5.03, Cas never got rid of it.

and that instead of falling out somewhere in purgatory, or somewhere a long the many broken roads and messy years of Castiel’s recent time on earth, instead, that badge fell into the hands of one Dean Winchester, after he fished a coat out of a lake.

Dean hand’t meant to touch it, preferring to leave Cas’ coat as undisturbed as possible (and in the faint, unspoken hope it would be, as much as possible, ready to wear), but one night, as he was moving the coat to a new car, it tumbled out into his hands. and that, in a long year of mourning, he couldn’t find it in himself to put the memory of that one night he spent with Cas away—the memory of that one time he was, despite apocalypses and all odds, happy, at least for a day. 

it is only months after Cas comes back for a second time that he finds it among Dean’s things, buried beneath clothes in Dean’s duffel, but he doesn’t remove it—after all he supposes, with half of the clothes in there now his own, among a collection both his and Dean’s is as a good a place for its safe-keeping as any :’)

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